IT'S TIME TO START BELIEVING

IT'S TIME TO START BELIEVING

 

It have witnessed some sad things in my life but none so tough to understand as why we all attack each other for small differences. Why do we sabotage our families and communities cause we are a little uncomfortable, scared or annoyed?

Do we not all want the same thing?

All I want is a peaceful world, where we can pursue our dreams, be our true self and eat some good food. A place where we can dance , sing, laugh together and know that there are many shoulders to cry on. A place where we can sit close together and be different and appreciate those differences and not try and make everyone like us.

I have witnessed healers, shamans and medicine people try to distroy other healers, shamans and medicine people for minor differences. I have witnessed leaders attack other leaders because their causes are not exactly the same. I have seen people complain for the sake of complaining. I have seen so much energy being wasted on what does not matter.

What matters is that we can make this world a beautiful place. It is really easy. All we have to do in believe in each other, believe in our self and when we are triggered we stand up and say "THANK YOU FOR TRIGGERING ME, YOU ARE A GREAT TEACHER."

IT is like we are in a sinking ship and all we have to do is put a plug in the hole. We have the plug, but we are to busy pushing people over board to plug the hole.

The great teachers, gurus and shamans of this world... it is time to grow up and work together. Whatever your race, religion, training, culture, financial situation, fame, lineage, it is time to put all that shit down and face the fact that there is no one way to bring this world to peace. There are as many ways as grains of sand. Every way is to be honored and appreciated.

Here is a start.

If you find yourself angry, bothered or annoyed.... try going the route of appreciation. Say thank you... and mean it.

All those who you might of attacked, alianated, hurt in the past. Call them up, send them and email or a note saying simply Thank You. Or better yet, drop by their homes and offer an appology for not appreciating their teachings.

I dont care about making peace with the enemy. I make peace with my friends, family and community first. FOr the true enemy is our own egos telling us we are better, deserve better, are right.

10 THINGS I HAVE LEARNED ABOUT BEING A STEPFATHER

I recently became a stepfather. I love every second of it. I am learning so much from my 5 year old (going on 500 year old) teacher. Unfortunately I am not learning much from my community about being a stepfather. There are not a lot of resources for how to be a good stepfather.

It is a special position to be in. I am a father but not a father. Over the past year I have learned some very crucial lessons about being a stepfather that I wish to share.


1.     Love them as your own. Give them the time, patients, understanding and love that you would give your own child. There is no way around this. Love them fully, completely, they deserve it.

2.     You are not their father. You are a father figure. Even if their biological father is not around, you are not their father. They can call you Dad, treat you like one, whatever they want is their prerogative. Let go of the feeling that you are their father. Treating them like your own child while not asking them to treat you like a father is the practice required.

3.     Provide safety. Above all else make sure they have a safe home, a safe place to go. More then likely that child has gone through a great change in their life. Healing requires rest, peace and safety.

4.     NEVER speak poorly of their father. No matter how troubled they might be. Always speak kindly of their father. Their father is part of them, insulting/judging their father is the same as insulting them.

5.     Love their mother. Love her freely and honestly. Learn to love their mother and show your love openly. You are teaching that little one how to love and be loved by another.

6.     Find special treats and trips and do them. It is important to build a friendship/trust with this person. Find common interests and make a point of doing them together.

7.     Provide information, feedback and ideas to the parents but you are not the decision maker. You are responsible for the safety of that child. You are responsible for the love of that child. You are responsible not for every decision of that child. Honor the mother and father by honoring their choices.

8.     Step up. Be there. Read about child rearing. Ask other parents about tips. Learn to live on less sleep. The focus is not on you, it is on the family.

9.     Laugh, sing, dance, play, dress in drag, watch cartoons, hide, seek, jump, throw, whatever you can do, be a child with them.

10. Most importantly, take care of yourself. That little child will learn a great deal if you heal your wounds, open your heart and forgive. There is always something that you can work on in yourself. Show them the honest struggle and share the successes.

I would love to hear more tips from other Stepfathers. We have much to teach each other.

---

I AM FUCKING PISSED!!!

Get out of my fucking way, unless you seek the wrath of truth.

I am pissed these days.

Seriously pissed!!!!!!!!!!!

I have fucking had it with opportunistic self righteousness. I have had it with greed infested cultural norms. I am done with bullshit controlling lies disguised as media. I am exhausted of pretending like I care about government and politics.

Where are the people who stand tall and proud and refuse to take this giant mound of steaming crap we call our culture up our ignorant asses?

Where are the few that support their dreams by lifting up other peoples dream?

Are you standing for anything?

I am fucking pissed. To much me first, my situation is worse then yours, my life is tougher bull shit.

It is time to put down the fucking egos and be honest!

We are all hurting!!!!!

We are all scared!!!!

We are all waiting for help from others!!!!!

So why dont we actually learn to help each other?

With all our energy we let go of the need to protest, to fight the "system", to complain about the way things are and

WORK TOGETHER

All of our energy in helping out those who you believe in. Helping out those who inspire you. Helping out those who need a bit of help. Helping out those who as for help. Helping out ourselves and asking for help and being OK if someone says no, just keep asking till you get the help you need.

We can build a brilliant future and soon. It is not hard.

We just need to focus together and trust the inner callings of each and every one of us.

It is time to rise up and say no more distractions. It is time to pursue my dream and time to connect, support and surround myself with other people who are following their dreams.

Stand up. Start today. Get it fucking moving.....

Who Cares?

Do we care?

Do we really care?

What do we care about?

DO we care about believe in anything?

Where are we going?

How do we get there?

Do we know what to do when we get there?

How are we going to get there?

Where are we going again?

Do you care where you are going?

DO you care how you are planning on getting there?

What question/s do you have?

Do you ask them?

Do you search for answers to your questions?

Who do you ask?

What are you afraid of?

What are you really afraid of?

Do you want to share it?

Do you want to share it all?

DO you want to yell your deepest secret as loud as you can, from the top of the tallest mountain, for everyone on this planet to hear?

Or do you want to sit there and do nothing?

Do you dance?

Do you dance with others?

Do you dance alone?

Do you own your anger?

Do you own your soul?

Do you have the fucking balls to stand up and say no more?

Do you have the balls to stand up and say anything at all?

Do you have the balls to stand up?

Do you stand up?

DO I stand up?

Do I care about this writing?

Lowering expectations and the art of forgiveness

Sometimes it takes a great shock to wake us from a dream.

I once dreamed that all I had to do was expect nothing more then kindness, respect and understanding from other people in order to have a low expectation of them.

Low expectations, I have been told, is the key to trusting others. It is the key also to not being disappointed and alienated from people.

So I went abut expecting low stuff. So I thought.

One day, when I was not paying attention, someone that I trusted and that I  had these low expectations of shocked me with their total lack of caring towards me. They where mean, disrespectful and deeply non-understanding of my person. A real shock.

SO I was angry, hurt and frankly looking for vengeance.

AS I walked through these emotions I was confronted with the loud awakening of a question repeating itself.

"Where those expectations I had on that person really that low?"

"Do you meet those expectation of yourself?"

"Are you always kind to yourself, always respectful of yourself, always understanding of your limitations?"

Not always...

Well, shit. I guess I had higher expectations of others then I do of myself. I wanted others to do what I could not fulfill myself.

SO what to do?

I believe that to truly find forgiveness in others I must forgive myself.

I believe that in order to forgive myself I must accept that I am not perfect.

In order to accept my imperfections I have to lower my expectations of myself.

Sometimes I mess up. Sometimes I hurt others. Sometimes I make mistakes. Sometimes I am careless, dishonest, selfish, mean, disrespectful and so on....

I work hard to be a better person.

I work hard to be open and loving.

I now must work hard in accepting my limitations. In lowering my expectations of myself and of others around me.

It is time to accept that I am a work in progress.

And I have work to do...

Going Dark

Shhhhhh.....

I'm going black for a little while.

I am going to be silent, quiet and too myself.

I am going to be finishing my book which should be ready to read in a few months

I am going to make love to my beautiful lover, almost fiance.

I am going to watch the sunsets, listen to the water run, the birds sing and the crickets dance.

I am freeing myself of this blog....

Just for a little while.... I got some inner work to do.

Ill be in touch from time to time

Feel free to look through the old blogs and comment on them. There are some really great ideas in the old blogs I am damn proud of them.

Let me know what you like or dont like.

THe best medicine for me right now is to hear what you think of my writing and my sharings.

See ya soon

Lights Out!

My affirmation

I transform myself into the freest I can be.

I invite all sacred teachings into my life and honor them by allowing myself permission to believe that every teaching is sacred.

I explore the unknown while releasing any need to judge anyone for anything.

I pray with every act I perform.

I forgive myself for everything I have done, have not done or have thought of doing.

I will succeed, I love myself that much

I am happy

I am alive

I am the luckiest person ever

I love me

Want to really fuck the system?

You want to get back at those evil doers?

You want to fuck somebody up?

You want to throw a monkey wrench in societies great machine?

You want to be a real rebel?

Then Love yourself.

Learn every way you can love yourself more.

Learn everyday where you are being mean and cruel to yourself

Learn where you are asking too much of yourself

Give yourself permission to be yourself

The scariest thing to a controlling society are people whoa re empowered.

To empower yourself, release everything that does not being you love.

How do you love yourself?

Face it

Somewhere in front of me in the valley ahead there is a great challenge.

If only I had more information, more clues, more support to make this challenge easier for myself. If only I had a clear sign a light coming from somewhere. If only I had the answer, the directions, the instructions. Then I could face that challenge.

So I sit and wait for more.

So I wonder. So I search. So I learn. So I go to Gurus. So I go to educators. So I go to see the people on the mountain.

I talk to the children. I look into the eyes of the elders. I look into to soul of the damned. I turn over every rock. I search every vagina. I pear in every ass hole. I wonder, I search and I learn.

But I do not attempt the challenge, there is too many reasons not to at this point.

Let it be said that I am a complete fool. I really am. I spent my entire life searching for what was already there. I spent my life searching for the glasses on my head, the keys in the fridge, the wallet on the night stand.

Everything I needed was right there all along.

The search for the answers for the great challenge ahead was right in front of me. All I had to do was.....

Face it.

So I face the valley and the long road ahead.

And I face it everyday.

I look into the eyes of my reflection. I look into the song of my ancestry. I look into the belly of the beast. I search within. The vastness of the universe is minute compared to the depth of my inner worlds.

You know what I find the deeper I go? The more If ace my challenge? The more I face my fear?

I find a desire to experience being human.

I want to eat really good pie. I want to make love everyday to someone I love. I want to spend time with family. I want to witness my father crying from tears of joy. I want to sing with strangers. I want to dance with neighbors.

At the end of the day, after all the vast searching I just want to be here. There is no greater place or more interesting adventure to be had.

Face your fears.... they are not as bad as we expect. They are gentle and want to be confronted. Invite change. Accept the road you are on. Enjoy the little moments, the little things.

FIre! Fire!

Fire in me.

Fire it pushes me

Fire in me burns bright and strong

I choose to use the injustices in our communities, our lands, our spirits, to be fuel for my fire

I accept all that comes my way

Fuel that fire within

Fuel that ragging fire within.

I take that fire, I work everyday, every second of everyday to channel that fire

To focus that fire

To use that fire

To bring change

Change to my life

Change to my land

Change to my spirit

Bring it on, whatever you got, whatever forces are against me

They are not against me

The wind at my face can be harnessed to fill my sail

The on-coming tide can be used to help me reexamine my perseverance

I have a fire within me and I am fucking proud of it

What fuels your change?

I exist

I am not my body, nor my mind.

I am not my education, my bank account or my status

I am not my pain or my joy.

I exist ebyond everything

That part of me that knows I exist, it is the most powerful part of me

No one can take it away.

No one owns it

No one can change it.

It is my true self

I exist to be my true self

I exist and that is enough

I have no calling or task or expectation greater

I am me and that is all I need to be

I only see the standing

I have been bullied and a lot in my life.

I ahve been physically humiliated, hurt and degraded by others who were more uncertain of themselves then I was

I have been manipulated, used and made fun of by those who hold more meaness and fear then I had at the time.

I have been lied to, cheated and had my kindness taken advantage of by those who have so much more financial wealth then me but have less self worth.

It is not a competition, nor do I ever really see who has more of anything most of the time.

What I see is people attacking kindness and love and open heartedness, and truth, and honesty and people who have self love.

I see not the bullies, I ignore them if I can. I see the people being bullied. They are the magical ones, the people that will change this world. They are the ones that will progress, show us a new way and open our minds and hearts.

If you have been bullied in your life consider it a confirmation by the universe that you are special (and not in that way that everyone is special, in that you are special among special people).

Stand up and shake those bullies shit off. Stand proud of who you are. Forget them and their attempts to keep you down. Forgive them, they need it.

Stand on your feet. Stand on your own two feet and show us who you are.

Fuck the bullies.... I only look for the people standing, not the ones trying to pull the standing people down. 

Manly Sex Talk: GO there...

Wherever you must go, go!!!

Whatever you must do, do!!!

As long as it does not go against someone elses will, go there.

Try it, it will free you, heal you, chalenge you, push you.

Sexuality is such a deep healing experience.

Ignoring your inner desires is not healing yourself

Your lust knows what it wants.

No one shall be intruded upon....

No one shall be forced against their will....

No one shall be tricked...

Then find someone (if you need another) and experience it.

If people around you dont like what you are going to do, then find others who accept you for you. Find people you can talk about it.

At the very least talk about it. You can learn so much about talking about things.

I implore you to go within and experience not what you think is expected of you, but what you want the most deep within you.

Be safe, have fun and open yourself.

Dear Gratitude

Oh dear Gratitude,

I know you are the bed I wish to lay in. I know that it is with you that I want to spend my hours. I want to fall in love with you dear gratitude. I know how sweet your fruits can taste, how nourishing your embraces are. Oh sweet gratitude, I am working my way to you.

My heart is finite, I can only give you the space I have free. So first I must make room for you. I have to clear out some old friends to make room for you in my heart. It is time to purge what no longer serves me, no mater how good it might have been to me in the past.

Farewell retribution. How you have filled my imagination and channeled my anger. How you have entertained me with scenarios of revenge. How we have conversed in the mirror, in my head, in the car. What might be only if I had the nerve....

Farewell depression. I have felt so comforted by your thick blanket of uncaring. I have felt safe when your dark gray hue passes over my life. How I have given myself permission to cry, be sad, slepp, oh shit how I have slept. I thank you and release you.

Farewell my need to be comfortable. You have saved me and made life seem easier then it was. You have given me reason not to fall flat on my face. You have hidden me from the dangers out there. You have left me alone but safe.

Farewell worry. You have been a bitch to me, a thorn in my side. Worry about too much that I have no control over. You are not my friend, you are released to be free of this inner battle. You win, I give in, now move on and go after someone stronger.

Farewell the need to be strong. I am what I am when I am it. It was nice to believe that I was strong but sometimes I am not.

Farewell to coffee. Ah you sweet black orgasm of power and thrust. You brilliantly dark and deep ass kicker. The reason tog et out of bed, for way to many mornings. Cream and all, I thank you.

Farewell to technology. I can only use so much, the rest distracts me. Thank you for entertaining me but I have a lot of work to do with Gratitude and must let you go now.

This is a start. might make one quarter of the room necessary for gratitude to have the space it needs to do its full dance in my heart. I have more to move out and on, I have more to let go of, I have more to mourn, I have more to release into the wind.

May we all feel more grateful for the world around us, every magical part of every day.

Shit deflectors on

It is very possible to get side tracked by other people shit they are flinging around. We can take some it on and fling it ourselves. Think of someone that pissed you off, or annoyed you. You go home and complain about it, vent about it, bitch about it, maybe even observe over it.

This is shit collecting. You have spent time on someone else issues, someone elses shit. You have collected it (not on purpose) and you have spread it out.

So what to do? How about those shit deflectors. I mean how does one not take on anothers shit?

First, if you have taken on someones shit, inadvertently, then get rid of it. Talk, vent, spit it out.

Second, practice not taking it on in the first place. This is a multi displinary practice. Many techniques are required.

Start by not adding to the shit. If someone is complaining, smile, listen but do not add to it by complaining yourself. If someone is venting then witness but do not take sides.

If you find yourself thinking about it, try to give yourself permission to let it go. Remind yourself that this is not your shit, you have enough shit of your own.

Mantra that works for me "I honor my shit and release that which is not mine"

Allow yourself permission to not care. Caring is essential but can not be done all the time. You can care about someone and offer compassion without taking on their shit. I like "that sucks" or "I hear you" as quick replies.

Really there are many techniques. Learn and practice your best techniques and for God/Goddess sake, share those techniques. We all need more, I need more. Share them here or on facebook or with friends and family. The more techniques the better.

Happy shit deflecting.

Blame Game

I see the cycle of madness. I see people complain about their taxes being too high, then also complain about the lack of government spending. I see people complain about wait times at hospitals, I also see them eating shitty food, living unhealthy lives.

I see people complain about the lack of progressive educational choices for their kids, but these same people do not want to work on their kids education at home.

I see eco conscious people talk the talk but not walk the walk.

I see the two deadliest sins on our planet, comfort and convenience running rampant.

We will sacrifice almost everything for comfort and convenience.

We sacrifice our dreams, our health, our community, our kids future for comfort and convenience.

 So what can we do?

Start by taking care of yourself. Make the wise choice. Eat good, local, whole foods.

Then look at what you need and what you want. Be clear on the difference. You need food, you want chips. You need clothing, you want brand names. You need a roof over your head, you want a large, modern house. You need community, you want to look good or look important in that community.

Keep learning about the difference between need and want.

Then play. Create. Allow yourself to express yourself. Practice it.

Make choices based on your needs, the needs of your family and the needs of your community.

Everything else is comfort and convenience.

????? Huh?????

I have no idea what to write about right now. I am stark out of ideas.....

I can go on about anything. I can offer perspectives on anything, my perspectives mostly...

But what to write about?

Got to be something challenging

Something truthful

and

Something Honorable

I just dont know what.

My love says I should write about her

Hmmmmm I just might.

Seeing Red

I have heard it said that there is a deep anger inside of me.

Well, that is right.

I am fuckin mad!

I am pissed at how we are all treating each other.

Seriously cold shit going on. Killing, stealing, name calling, lying, cheating, bullying. It is so bad that the economic model we all worship is supporting those traits by paying CEOs millions for doing this to us all.

I am pissed that we are not loving our neighbors more. Genuine caring for ourselves. Open sharing and healing and forgiving.

I am pissed that we are sold poison and told it is food.

I am pissed that we are trained to give away our power, as a young child, to authorities we have not met, nor do we have say in their mandate.

"It's the law!" They say and we are supposed to roll over and take it any way they give it to us.

I am pissed that someone can come and kick me out of my house, kick my family out of my house if I dont pay bills. Money is more important then my families health....

I am pissed that we lie to ourselves ever day, all the time.

I am pissed that we have not gotten together and created technology that frees us up so that we can create more music, more art, more laughter.

I am pissed that I have a reason to be pissed.

I am pissed that others are not as pissed.

Lets change this shit to something better. Something where Love is more important then anything else. That our communities are healthy and strong and flourishing.

We can only do that if we slowly stop doing what we do not like and start to do more of what your heart wants.

Be free to love life, love yourself and love others.

Build the life you want.

I miss my mom

Today is mothers day.

I am sending love out to all those who no longer have a mother with them on this planet.

Those whose mothers have passed

I miss my mother, she was a wonderful women who really helped me navigate this complex world for as long as she could. She loved me and I love her.

My mother loved ferociously, she loved me ferociously

My mothers love sustains me and will for as long as I live. I will pass on her love to others. She was a saint in my world and she deserve not just a mothers day but a mothers week, or month, shit she gets a mothers eternity.

Everyday is mothers day.

Soulful Repossession

I hereby renounce all my religious and spiritual practices.

I am not a shaman or a shamanic practitioner.

I am not a Christian or a Buddhist or a Taoist

I am not a Meditator or a Alternative Medicine Practitioner or a healer.

I am Kevin Alexander and proud of it.

Every spiritual practice and religion has and will for evermore gift me with healings.

I do not need to stand on a soap box and claim my participation in one belief over another.

I do not need to choose based on fear or convenience or comfort.

I allow myself to believe as I see fit for myself. I trust in my inner wisdom.

It is time though to be myself and honor my beliefs and stand in my power.

It is time to release all and any judgements of others, especially myself.

It is time that I pursue my own spiritual practice and trust in myself.

My religion and spiritual practice is learning how to not judge others, not matter what they do.

My religion and spiritual practice is to not judge myself no matter what I do.

I work and live in love, that is enough to know that my actions are the best they can be. 

This is a practice that does not require forgiveness or understanding.

It requires faith, that everything is just perfect. That everyone and everything is right where they are supposed to be and doing what they are supposed to be doing.

Is is a practice in acceptance of the world around me. I can not change others, or circumstances.

I can only take responsibility for my own actions. 

I take my life seriously. I enjoy it tremendously. I love it fully.