I struggle sometimes with myself. I get really excited. Whenever I am touched by something, food, music, art, life, stories, I get really excited and want to share it with everyone. The problem is that I see beauty in so much. How do I share such brilliance with the world? How do I remember it myself when I am feeling down?
I am so grateful to be alive. I really am.
My mother died when I was 17. Her last words to me where, "Kevin, tell the truth, all the time". (exact words)
Really hard words for a young male to hear from his dying mother. I was just starting to realize that most people lied to me. They lied to themselves and I was lying to myself. I neurotically went searching for truth. I started to look within and realized the amount of lies I held in my heart. I went to work uncovering each lie.
Here are a few things I realized. Life is really short. If you are afraid of doing something, it is because you are meant to do it. NEVER sit in comfort for long. Find what YOU think is beautiful and share it with anyone and everyone in whatever way you deem fit. Be kind to yourself, you are perfect. nothing is your fault, or anyone's fault. The best and most powerful drug on this planet, and probably in the universe, is being in the moment.
Love, feel, see, hear, touch, taste. Be human. Fish swim, birds fly, humans be human.
It's tough though. I want everyone to see what I see and feel what I feel. I want to see what others see and feel what they feel. I want to be part of something, I want to share it with someone, I want to experience it with a family, a community, a circle.
I'm scared. The layers they are peeling off. I feel like I am loosing my mind. I guess that's the point. Loose the mind, open the heart, move into the heart.
I find fear in telling the truth to myself. I am afraid to jump to far down the rabbits hole. I am afraid!
So full of fear, I still jump down the rabbits hole with no parachute. I jump over the Edge cause I know I have to learn to fly. I seek truth and hear it every chance I get. I respect fear but it will not stop me. Nothing will stop me, my mommy told me to find truth and I will, and you know what, truth is all worth it when all the darkness of fear fades and the sunlight of truth warms the sole.