Wednesday, 9 January 2013

To push or not to push....

It has been brought to my attention that I am a pusher and a visionary. This is a difficult combination to have and requires a great deal of delicacy.

Most of my life I have been able to see, quite obviously, where ill health is coming from. I can see it in a community, in a structure (physical or otherwise), I can see it in most peoples eyes. I can see if your anger is holding you back from your dream, or if your fears are controlling your life and not allowing you to move freely. I can see if a group of people are following a certain leader, I know who the Alpha person is instantly. I can see if a company will fail or succeed, move on or get squashed. I have usually been accurate in determining the length of a relationship or friendship. 
I do struggle to see all this in myself. Sometimes I seem to be able to observe others with such accuracy and miss the most obvious thing within myself. Its rather frustrating, and quite limiting. I can not help others if I do not learn how to help myself. I need to be healthy, strong and clear in my mind, free of fear and anger. I have to be in my heart, in fierce love. 
My biggest challenge in being in fierce love, in my heart center, is it triggers others. It has been my experience in life that when we do something, like succeed, others are bothered by their feelings of failure. If no one challenges their fears then I do not have to challenge my own. If no one looks within their pain, then I do not have to look at my pain. 
When I enter my heart center, I see massive shifts in the faces of my community, family and friends. It is a look of disbelief and uncertainty. Then the attacks or the projection of doubt. Is it selfish to be in ones heart center? Is it self involved? Are we separating ourselves from the co-dependant reality of community? Is it always there and am I just noticing it right now? 
are we doing our honest duty? Are we giving to the community the greatest gift one could? When I am in my fierce love state, I do not need others to prop me up, or be careful of what they say or do. I am in-power. I am complete.... well almost. I have never been fully in my heart center for long. I am human and have much to learn.
Here is the dilemma  I can not seem to find a way to be in fierce love, in my heart center, without my community, my friends and my family. It is an essential part of my heart. So when I am in fierce love, they seem to get distant, when I am needy they seem to be around. 
Is it all my perception? Is it too much to be in fierce love? Can i be in my heart center and not be affected by the reactions of others? Is that really a practice I wish to pursue? 
Together, all in our heart centers we can, have changed the world. 
World peace, harmony and unity comes when we are all in our heart center.

“We are our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves.” - Tom Robbins

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