Tuesday, 12 February 2013

healing story from my mothers womb

Anaïs Nin: “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”

I love my mother, or do I say I loved my mother. It never know what is appropriate. I dont really care anymore. What I know is that the healing story that I have to share is important. I am not sure how to share this. There are so many details and pieces. As always, I will just write and let it out. See where it goes.
 Be honest and clear.

My mother was a good mother. She cared and did her best. She has golden yellow hair, which was not her natural colour. She was a great cook, lots of butter type of cook. She loved to play, laugh and play jokes. 

One April fools, she snuck into all of our bedrooms (I have two siblings) and changed the alarm clocks so they were fast. She got up really early for this. When the time was right she barged into our rooms screaming that we are late for school, we have to move and quick. She sold it, we were all up and at it, dressed faster then normal. When my siblings and I made it to the kitchen there where pancakes, sausages, milkshakes, whip cream and a big sign saying April Fools.

I wasn't the best joke ever but it was perfect and it was my mother's love.

 Her laughter and love kept us all sane.

One day I remember she called us all to her bedroom. I must have been 14. She told us that she had found a lump in her breast and that doctors needed to do more tests. This was before I or most people really talked about Cancer. I had no idea what it meant, so i carried on watching TV or whatever. It wasn't till a few weeks later that i found my mother crying at the kitchen table, shaking. It was just the two of us and I did not know what to do. So I did what she would do and rubbed her head telling her " I love your pretend golden hair". She laughed, looked up at me with makeup everywhere and looked into my eyes some fierce.

"Kevin, listen up. I love you, I always will, no matter what happens. You have such deep penetrating eyes. Keep looking, keep searching"

Read the rest at (you guessed it) my website


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