Honoring Kevin

On my way into work this morning I was listening to Wildlife, a band out of Toronto.  The up beat rock got my mind swinging and my heart beating with purpose. The strong, but well brewed, cup of coffee was infusing my body with a caffeinated rush that allowed me to dance, even though I was still driving. I was feeling a deep lightness, a joy that had been missing these last few weeks. Then I got a little teary, Ok I cried.

It was two things that made me release the pent up tears. I first got into a trance of thinking about my friends and family. I wanted to honor them and had so many people to honor. I felt overwhelmed with how many people I wanted to thank and show my appreciation for just being here. Then it occurred to me how brilliantly lucky I am to have so many people that have honored me. Such a strong circle of friends and family is by far the most rich and beautiful thing I could EVER ask for. I got a little teary. 

Then I got a little side tracked on how come I can not feel this way all the time. How come I can not recognize how rich and lucky I am every day, every second. I was then gifted with the insight that it is the hard work, the cleaning of my internal closets, the digging deep, the looking at my demons, the learning to love my shadows that allow me to feel the deep love and honor. If I did not do the inner work I could not see the beauty in the outer world. As Bruce Cockburn says in "Nothing worth having comes without some kinda fight, you gotta kick at the darkness till it bleeds day light." 

So true, so very, very true.