Cas wanted to run away. There would be time for that later. For now he had to find Julia and reconnect. Cas’ sister was about to be married and Cas was not looking forward to introducing Julia to the family. Cas’ family was not mean or that weird, they just lived in their own world. Julia came from another world. One that did not fit into the world Cas grew up in. It was what Cas liked about Julia, she was unique, challenging and did not play by the blind rules his family had thrown upon him.
Julia had no idea what she was getting into. She did not have enough strength or training to be challenged the way she was about to be. Cas’ family did not show her the attention she wanted, nor asked her many questions. They where intimidated by her power, her education and her abrasiveness. Julia would not tolerate such insult and would do her best to hide her feelings but hiding how she felt was not one of her strong points. Julia was a strong woman among apposing minds. She was a hyper intelligent, angry, abused, aggressive well-trained assassin of fake.
The wedding was the first in the family. Tina was young, and in love. It was to be a big wedding, with lost of pictures, lost of tears and lots of booze. Julia was alone most of the night as Cas was in the weeding party. Julia had to spend the night with the grandmother.
“I’m going for a cigarette” Julia would say getting up, not carring who knew.
“Oh, I’ll come with you” Grandmother would respond hoping no one would know that they were going out to smoke together. Everyone knew though.
That is how it was. Everyone knew what everyone’s business was. No one would admit to their flaws and issues, no one would ask about them. That was the game Julia did not get. You can see and be aware of someone’s story, you just can not ask them or let on that you know.
“I don’t get it” Julia would tell Cas when they would get a second together.
“You don’t get what”
“Everyone here knows that your Grandmother smokes. Why doesn’t she just smoke”
“Because she wants to be presentable and in her mind presentable women do not smoke”
“But I smoke, am I not presentable?”
Cas did not know how to answer this. In all his training of legal ease and political back talk, he was not prepared for this conundrum. Julia was not presentable to the standards of Cas’ world. Cas did not think Julia was not presentable. Cas wanted Julia to know how beautiful she was. Julia never felt comfortable in her own skin. She was tall and beautiful. Women would throw jealousy her way all the time. Julia took it personally and held her head in shame and hid her true beauty.
Cas always had a way of seeing people for their true self and beauty and not how they presented or acted themselves. He would love the potential long before he knew the person. It was his downfall and his greatest quality. Most people will never let their true beauty shine. They will attack and destroy any attempts of others trying to bring out their true beauty. I guess it has something to do with people not feeling worthy of their inner beauty. They just get used to how people see them and they get caught up in that image.
Julia did not want to be beautiful. She wanted to be right. Cas knew this would be a difficult explanation so he tried using an analogy…Bad idea.
“ You know how at picnics people do not want to see bees?”
“Ya, what the hell does that have to do with my question?”
“Well people at picnics love to have flowers right? So they do not want bees but they want flowers but without the bees they would have no flowers”
“I don’t get it” Julia looked intensely at Cas. Cas knew he had to explain or die trying.
“ It’s just that you have a unique way of being that scares most of these people. You act honestly and as yourself and most people here have never done that” That was the truth.
“So, it’s my fault. I am the odd one because I am honest. That’s fucking insane. These people are fucking insane. Their like fucking children” Julia light another cigarette. She had a way of describing thing so eloquently.
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