I CAN NOT TELL YOU how I came to know this story. I can only share it using my best in story telling. This will be like trying to describe a fragmented dream. It will be poetic, choppy and sometimes frustrating. There will be holes, missed parts and foggy mornings. There will be wrong turns, open pits of despair and long bouts of silence. There will be laughter, morbid facts and invitation for tears. There will be a story in all its colors. I will not protect you nor hide you from this story. I is mine and that I will share.
I was born in Oshawa in the late 70’s. What can I say about Oshawa? It was a city that people lived. There was little magic, little new coming from this town. It was a hole to be filled with houses and people. It was not ugly nor was it spectacular. It was, like its inhabitance, just there. I actually remember my birth. I remember the yellow walls and the coldness. You think they would warm things up a little. I am sure every doctor and nurse that was there for my birth would keep their houses warm for visitors. Why not warm things up a bit for my entrance to their world?
It was then that I knew I was not of this world. I was not alien per say, more just not programmed to understand the programming this world was written in. I knew there was much to fight for and much needed change. I knew that this world was not that cold and that the walls did not have to be so bright. I knew that my circumcision was rushed and without purpose. My introduction into this world was of coldness, fake light and purposeless genital mutilation. Then came pinpricks, toxic, dead disease in my veins, some chemical perfumed blankets. I was surrounded by brick and mortar, no trees in sight. I instantly felt sorry for my mother and father. I knew then, not an hour old, what it was like when they came into the world and their mothers and fathers. I mourned for my ancestors and the missing invitation to this brilliantly warm and magic filled world. I felt my parents love. It was pure and free. I loved my parents instantly.
Within my first day I had been rudely welcomed into a world teaming with love and magic. I had been pricked, cut, moved and separated from my mother. I had felt the pain in my parent’s heart. I had felt my ancestor’s pains. I had accepted my role as a protector. I was to make sure that the pain that already was here was not multiplied. I was to learn how to heal these injustices and these pains. No more worthless suffering, no more pain where it was not needed. Warm invitations to all my friends and foes. Day one was a long day. I do not remember all this as clearly as I remember yesterday. I feel it, I know it, I dream it, I recognize it as truth. Just who I am.
To be continued....