Im tired of being broke

I am eternally trying to catch up. I am not a big spender nor have any major addictions. I like the occasional bottle of nice wine or sometimes I get me a really nice cheese or a new music album. I do not, nor have I ever driven a fancy car, or gone on big trips.I don't own a house, have high rent, spend of clothes or pointless crap.

Where my money goes is into my community. I buy locally, I make sure I have good food that keeps me healthy. I make sure I have good shoes so I can walk and move without pain. I help friends and family as much as possible. If I need something for my health, I get it.

I have worked hard my entire life. I have given as much of myself as I can and helped as many people as I can. I have committed to every job I have done and left as peacefully as I could when I knew my heart was not into it. I have done what was best for my community, sacrificed for those who needed things more. I have worked hard to be honest and open in every aspect of my life.

I am tired of being broke. I have so much in my life and I am grateful. I have no money. Being honest and vulnerable does not pay off. Mostly businesses seem to take advantage of it. I do not think it is intentional, just the reality of a competitive world. I always reach this breaking point where I want to stop doing what I feel is right and start just making money.

I can make money. I can rip people off, trick them, sell shit for high pricing, take advantage of weak minds, weak hearts. I can sell myself out, sell myself short. I can be a very successful business men. I can manipulate with the best of them. I don't want to.

I want to heal, to help, to honor, to have time to listen to people. I want to have the space to build community, to honor those around me, to listen. I want to be my fullest self, I know how to be my fullest self, I just have no idea how to make the money needed to fully be me in this economic world?

Any tips?

Heal Your Community, use medicinal herbs

MEDICINAL HERBS ARE SAFE!!!!! Zero people died last year from accidental herbal poisoning. There are cautions and herbs that require a lot of respect but for the most part HERBS ARE SAFE!!!!

Now that we can get rid of any stupid fears around plant medicine let us talk bout what it can do. Plant medicine can not only help strengthen, support, heal, enlighten, calm, energize, inspire, create passion, sedate, help to procreate and more, it can heal an entire community.

In traditional communities the passing of the plant knowledge and medicine was a way that linked the young to the old, the people to the land and was the subject of many campfire stories.

All great communities have an intimate relationship with the plant medicine around them. There are no exceptions. One of the key indicators of the health of a community is the relationship they have with plants.

Have a look around. Does your community share its knowledge of plant medicine? Does your community talk about plant medicine? This might be a good place to start to heal your community.

Fight the power.... STOP!

I have been to protests, most do not work or at least they are a temporary solution.

I have educated myself against the evils of this world, they are strong and deeply ingrained in our systems.

I have fought with every ounce of strength to free myself and my heart from the oppressive, power sucking regimes and companies. I got tired.

I stopped and all seemed to change. I forgave everyone and everything, or at least I am working on forgiving everyone and everything. I found time and space and realized one of the greatest secrets ever.... I have all the power.

Fight a system and they have control over you as if you where a part of it. Stop and you have control over yourself.

Stop moving, fighting, arguing, studying, complaining, being a victim.

Start breathing, looking around you, slowly and carefully changing what you want to change.

Listen to yourself. You are the most powerful person in your universe. Actually you are the only one with power in your universe. Stop and have a look at where you are giving your power away. Take it back, it is yours.

Manly Sex Talk - Truth is hot

I have realized that in my calming of sexual self and understanding of sexual self that honesty is hot. I love to hear what my partner is feeling, liking, not liking. I love to hear what is happening and mostly when they are connected and when they need space. It is essential to my sexual enjoyment that I do not have to worry about the other persons reality. I need to let go and in order to do that I need to not be guessing what the other is doing or going through. Does not mean i do not want to read their body language or I want them telling me every little detail, I like so clear truth and honesty. It goes a long way to making the experience peaceful and connected.

Witch Doctor House Call (Listen to the Plant)

When I was on Salts Spring Isle many years ago and had little experience with plant medicine, I decided to go walking in the local forest. I took my shoes off and went barefoot feeling the ground under my feet. I walked for about and hour when I felt something stinging my ankles. I thought it was a bee sting, maybe I stumbled upon a wasps nest. I found a log close by and jumped up on it. I looked at my ankles to see if there where marks, nothing. I looked around to see if I could spot a bee or two, nothing.

I was confused but young and brave/stupid so I jumped off the log tot he ground and felt the same stinging again. I jumped back on the log and realized it was not bees but a plant that was stinging me. I was surrounded by it. It was a dark green plant, sharp edges on it leaves. Looked like a cross between a pot plant and a mint plant.

I later found out it was Stinging Nettles. One of the greatest plant medicines on the planet. A tonic that demands attention. A great healer. Nettles are rich in calcium (so much more then milk, milk is not a source of calcium for humans it is a source for disease, more on that later). Rich in Iron, minerals, anti inflammatory properties. It is abundant, hearty and tasty. The acid which burns the skin has no long lasting effect. Its burn helps with arthritis or numbness. It takes 2 seconds in hot water to neutralize the nettles burn. You can eat it as a green, use it in soup, make a tea from it, dry it, love it.

If you ahve not discovered the wonders of nettles, then do. It gives life, it give strength, it gives support, it wakes you up, it wakes your system up. It is a great friend and I hope you find it as helpful as I do.

Argh! Things are fucking backwards

Our society is on the brink of disaster. Rome fell, so will our social structures stupid way of doing things. Allow me to ask for some clarification. Food is a necessity. Food is HIGHLY regulated. Cleanliness, care, serving. It is so regulated that local people who produce free range, organic eggs can not sell htose eggs or even sell the baked goods that the eggs are made with for fear of improper handling and contamination. Now this gets stupid cause most of the shit they call food in the grocery store is poison. Antibiotically laden meats, Genetically modified corn syrup, highly sprayed with carcenegenic herbisaide soy, useless sugar and empty calories.

So if I choose to eat locally and healthy I can not because of "safety concerns". BULL SHIT. Same thing for drugs. Drugs, illegal drugs are completely unregulated. People who suffer from trauma and troubles and self medicate with drugs are left to the safety of the local drug lords. Over dose, contamination, shit upon shit happens this way. 

Weird wold we live in. Sometimes I do not get why we do not start a revolution.

How would I protest? Click here...

Speak Up!!!!

Something wrong in your neighborhood? Who you gonna call? How about yourself!!!!

Speak up!

SOmething missing in your realtionship, community, heart, home, town, city, school, work, play, park?

Speak up!

Whoa re you waiting for? Who is going to clean up after your fears and inability to stand up, make a difference and change what is not right.

You have the power to change. You have the power to make change. You also have the power to do nothing, to forget about the problem, forget about the pain. You have the choice to sit and ignore what is happening in front of you or you can speak up.

You are not alone, you do not have to be the only one making change. There will be support, there will be resistance. Speak up.

I believe humans have reached a cross in the road. We can continue to self destruct on every level and kill ourselves off or we can speak up, make changes and heal our hearts.

Wake up everyone, speak up everyone.

Manly Sex Talk (Man That Feels Good Responses)

So I wrote about one of my teachings of self pleasure. Manly Sex Talk (Man that feels good)

I have not received one response or comment from this post but I have heard from almost everyone who I know about this blog post. Mostly from women. actually I have not heard anything from men. Hmmmm! I wonder if this intrigues women more them men. Are women more curious about my self pleasure then men? Do men care? Are men scared? I think it is that last one. Men are scared to talk about themselves and their sexuality, sexual preferences and sexual history.

Truth is all I ever hear from men is what they accomplished, not what they like, what they struggle with or what they dream about. So let me share those. I like intellectual stimulation, it turns me on. If I am intellectually challenged, I am sexually hot. I struggle with expectations of myself. I always want to perform, I get caught up in the performance and have trouble releasing into the moment. I dream about a long term partner that wants to go deep into sexual exploration. Not only the body but the mind, heart, spirit of sex. I know I have work to do to get tot he point that I am ready to trust someone enough to go there.

All this aside, I do not care if you are blushing by my blogs, or if you find them brave or funny or stupid. I am a human being that is struggling to get my life where I want it. I have issues and insecurities. i need to be supported and held. I am fragile and breakable. I am also not going to wait for anyone or anything to heal me or change my life. I am committed to making my life better. I am committed to sharing my struggles. I am committed to talking about sex. I am committed to having the sex of my dreams..... who's with me?

The Story of Kevin The Wolf (Second Verse)

School was a painful experience for me. I showed enough intelligence that everyone had high expectations of me. I just could not follow protocol, procedure or the giving up and giving in to schedule. I could not put it into words then, but I feel I was trying to fight for myself right to exist and explore in this world. How debilitating to the spirit to give up ALL control over my scheduling. I understand that kids need structure but school was not structured, it was repressive, controlling and disrespectful. I see a lot of adults damaged by their schooling and still acting out as if a teacher where in the room with them. At a young age people are seriously delicate and need to have that taken into account.

I got into trouble as a kid, not for being mechievious, but for having trouble swtiching from one task to another. I wanted to keep doing the math I was into instead of going onto reading and writting. I wanted to keep playing with the blocks that were building the castle of my dreams instead of going into the realm of history or geography. I am not the only with school P.T.S.D. Those who choose to instill schedules and rules and regulations, those who live by strictness and control are still in trauma. Humans need space and freedom to heal, discover their hearts desire and to play in the brilliant playground of nature. We need to explore, challenge and discover new thoughts, new ideas and new ways of experiencing our senses. This can only be done if the school system is done with.

Industrial education is archaic. It has failed us and is deeply failing our children. I wish it was only failing people. It is hurting our children. It is hurting the precious ones we are here to protect. We have so many more options to support a healthy educational system. Support the child, honor the child, give the child the tools they need to succeed. Help the young ones find their loves, their desires and what they like to do. Help them build it up. Help them learn how to learn. Help them grow and give them the tools needed to find and build self confidence. Encourage them to speak up, give them a voice, allow them the right to have control over their education. Empower them, love them. The education system is sick and is passing on that sickness to our kids. We can do SOOOOOO much better.

I just made it through the educational system. Luckily I had the fortitude to know how to do just enough to get by. I am still healing from that ordeal, the atrocity of what I had to do every day. Funny thing is that most of my teachers from then that I have encountered along my adult life have agreed with me that the system is horrible. I think we all agree yet not many have the strength to fight the system. To bring change. To put the hearts and minds of our future in a safe and healthy environment. One that prepares them for this changing world with useful tools and strong hearts and minds.

Sunset Ice Crystals

So I recently had the brilliant gift of spending an evening with two of my favorite people in the world. We walked tot he edge of Lake Nippising in North Bay to watch the sun set. THe ice had formed piles of ice crystals everywhere. We collected beaver chew sticks and watched the sun fade to bed. Have a look, it was fantastic.

Watch this..... 

I protest!!!!

I protest!!!!

I protest against big business, against government, against control, against industrial growth and environmental degradation.

I protest against horrible educational systems, that fail our children and have failed us.

I protest against against conscious ignorance and perpetual stupidity.

I protest against greed.

I protest against the many laws that protect the people who destroy the land around us.

I protest against the many laws that allow people to disempower us.

I protest against ANYTHING that does not support individuals in learning how to love themselves more....

How do I protest?

I protest by loving myself and by learning how to love myself more.

Whatever I need to do to tend to my heart, to listen to my heart, to follow my heart,

Whatever I need to do to reap the brilliance and inspiration that comes from within me...

I will do.

If this breaks laws, shatters corporate ideals, if I twist people so uncomfortably that they might have to look at themselves????

I will love myself.

I protest by being a specimen of self love

By walking and talking, sharing, meditation, eating, sleeping, dancing, singing, looking, hearing and EVERYTHING I do is to love myself.

There is not a single human construct that can take that away from me.

Nature supports it, the universe supports it, I support it.

For it is time to love yourself.

Everything that you have told yourself of why you can not love yourself, why you can not go there, why it is not possible, it does not matter any more. It is time....

The revolution has started.

It wont be one of violence or picket signs.

 It will be one where we just leave behind the way things have been and we dream awake what can be possible....

A life and a world where the sole mission of every human being is to love themselves, completely and fully, unconditionally.

I protest...

I protest in the most deep and profound way that I know

I have already changed my world.

I will keep changing it, one day at a time

One motion at a time

Every motion and every day shall be honoured with self love

I will not fail, I love myself that much.

Witch Doctor House Call (Mantra's and Affirmations)

I have seen hundreds of courses and programs on the concept of reprogramming the brain/mind. I think they are wonderful, great businesses. I mean if you have something simple that everyone could or should know, and you put a bunch of lingo and flashy names and practices around it and make money, good on you... (cough, sarcasm, cough...)

If I had one thing I could teach the children in our school systems that they do not know already, it would be positive self talk. Negative self talk is one of the easiest to remedy social poisons I know and the teenagers these days are masters a negative self talk. Most people in general are pretty practiced at negative self talk. We are all so clear on our limits. What we are too weak, old, tired, dumb, slow, unskilled etc... 

Positive self talk is simple. Find an affirmation, make it up yourself. Something simple and positive, without negative words like don't or not. Repeat it over and over again until your whole essence gets it. For instance if you want to sing but are afraid to for whatever reason a simple affirmation might be, "I love my voice". Practice this, change it whenever and how ever you want. Don't worry if you forget it or you do not use it very much, it is a practice.

My mantra is I surrender to my dreams, I will succeed, I love myself that much.

Now this usually costs you thousands of dollars and two or three weekends of your life, just send me a comment and we will call it even. How about sharing your own personal favorite affirmation.

Manly Sex Talk (Man That Feels Good)

I take a lot of things lightly in this world that most worry about. It has always been my way. One thing I do not take lightly is Masturbation. I love my masturbation process. I have GREAT sex with myself and I am beginning to understand how important that is.

I have learned many techniques over the years. Mostly what I realize is that there are many things I can do to please myself. One thing that I will share is the brilliance of sesame oil. I have talked about the benefits of sesame oil many times, this time let me put it to good use. Sesame oil is brilliant for the skin, it nourishes and heals very well. It is a great lubricant and a great carrier for essential oils. If you are into masturbation or if you have a partner who wants to participate, try using sesame oil. Also try mixing in some high quality essential oils. It makes the whole thing more sensual and also makes your shaft smell better over time as the oil absorbs into the skin. Your skin will be softer and more likely to get touches, it will be cleaner and smell wonderful.

So from this process you get to indulge in self love, you get to make your cock more inviting and you get to practice self health. Try it, pass it on to your men, it is a wondrous adventure.

Manly Sex Talk (One at a time)

I have had the honor of having some pretty personal conversations about sex with 5 men over the past few weeks. All have some how gotten tot he idea of monogamy. Mostly because I am single and they where all in committed relationships. It occured to me that the conversations I was having with these men might surprise some people out there. All 5 men where clearly into Monogamy. One person at a time. Now I am not sure if they had lovers on the side and did not want to share or where just spitting out what they thought they were supposed to say. What it did appear like is that they where genuinely trying to honor the person they where with by being with them and really did not want to stray from the nest.

So I did some research. Apparently in North America some studies have shown that woman are 2 times more likely to cheat on their committed relationship then men. TWO TIMES! I never would have guessed. I reminded me of the MANY times I have heard woman bad mouthing men about being cheaters and dogs and untrustworthy and selfish. I wonder if the women saying these things where actually talking about themselves?

My truth is that we need to be clear. If you wanna be my lover, I like to know that there are not a lot of other people in your bed. This is more for safety for me. If you wanna be in a committed relationship, go ahead, if you wanna be in an open one, enjoy. Just be honest. It is the deceit and lying that ruin everything. Explore your sexual sides, enjoy it, work on it, talk about it, have fun with it, allow yourself to get carried away, dont think about it to much, be in your heart and above all else, when it comes to sex Be honest with yourself and your lover.

Be Strong

Strength is no power. It is not force nor dominance.
Strength is peace.
Strength is being able to love and be loved
Strength is vulnerability without the attachement to an expectation of response.
Strength is playfullness
Strength is Self Love
Strength is simple.

Worry not about your muscles, cardio or weight.
Worry not about your endurance or accomplisments
Strength comes from knowing who you are, know what you need, Knowing what you feel,
Knowing how to honor yourself and others.
Strength comes from the ability to listen to your hearts desires and risk doing whatever it is calling to do.